‘I think it’s just that I’m not ready for forever’ (Blume, 2014, p. 208)
‘It’s so exploratory it almost borders on non-fiction’
Reading Judy Blume’s Forever as an adult for the first time, felt like I was instantly transported back to my sweet sixteen and first serious relationship. While reading the book, I was transformed into that giddy teenager who was learning about IT once again. I remember going through the same emotions as Katherine, the main character: experiencing the same turmoil inside me, trying to find the answer to ‘when was the right time’. One very familiar pattern we found in the story is doing things for the first time: first glances, kisses, hugs, snuggles and the first time going all the way. Blume was able to create a story which is real; I enjoy Dawson’s description: ‘There’s still something pure and undiluted about the examination of sex in Forever. It’s so exploratory it almost borders on non-fiction’ (2015). Adolescents reading this book will be able to identify with the characters and they will feel involved in their love story because of its realism (Appleyard, 1991). Even if they have not yet experienced their first love, every generation can learn something from Blume’s depiction of first love.
With the awakening of the Second Wave Feminism in the 60s, women fought for many issues to be recognized: reproductive rights, domestic violence, and women’s shelters among others. However, most media that tackled teenage relationships, would choose to portray them with disastrous consequences: pregnancy, abortion, death upon delivery, or the ‘you ruined your future’ plot. We realised that Blume gave us a straightforward story of two high school seniors who fall in love and have consensual, responsible sex – Katherine starts taking the Pill, which in the 70s was the epitome of responsible sex. They banned the book left and right in the US because it describes sex explicitly.
‘A person has to think… a person has to be sure… I’ll have to control my body with my mind’ (p. 51)
In my opinion, this book is absolutely age appropriate for any teenager in today’s world. Adolescents have questions about sex, they did in 1974 as well, except now they have the internet which is full of information, images and videos, often, out of context which can be more damaging. So, why not allow adolescents to read a story of first love, from start to finish? Thanks to the internet, kids mature faster and start exploring Erikson’s sixth stage earlier – exploring intimate and loving relationships with other people (1970). Our main character Katherine finds herself at this stage as well and proves to be a great role-model for girls. Michael tries to pressure her into having sex several times before she is ready, but she makes her wishes perfectly clear: ‘A person has to think… a person has to be sure… I’ll have to control my body with my mind’ (p. 51). Michael shows restraint and understanding of what consent means. I thought this was incredibly realistic and an important point of any relationship that adolescents must be made aware – it is absolutely okay to say no, and the other person must understand what this means.
Katherine does not go through this by herself; she has her parents who seem to be a great influence and example of what true love looks like. Furthermore, they have an honest and open relationship which includes talk about sex as well: ‘…you have to be sure you can handle the situation before you jump into it… sex is a commitment… once you’re there you can’t go back to holding hands…And when you give yourself both mentally and physically…well, you’re completely vulnerable’ (p. 84). Research by Borawski, Ievers-Landis, Lovergreen, and Trapl (2003) concludes that ‘trust established between an adolescent female and her parents continues to be a strong deterrent for risky behaviors’ such as unprotected sex. We can see how Kath’s relationship with her parents, based on trust and honesty, influences her decisions when it comes to losing her virginity with Michael – she goes to Planned Parenthood and starts taking the pill.
Some still try to ban the book (see Parker v. Hurley, 2008) instead of taking the opportunity to have a conversation with their children about birds and bees and how it is portrayed in Forever. I do think schools should allow this book on the list of optional reading materials because students as young as sixth-graders, according to Worthy, Moorman, and Turner’s reports, are interested in both scary books but also teen magazines which often include relationship advice (as cited in Edwards, 2014, p. 2). As I was researching the author, I came across stories of people reminiscing about reading this book in secret when they were as young as 11. Most of the time, it was because of the media attention that they were dying to read it. I have to agree with the Executive Director (of the National Coalition Against Censorship) Joan Bertin: ‘A parent whose ‘child is exposed to sensitive topics or information at school remains free to discuss these matters and to place them in the family’s moral or religious context, or to supplement the information with more appropriate materials’” (Parker v. Hurley, 2008). Luckily, the Netherlands has Sex Education for kids as young as four (de Melker, 2015) and are not afraid of these topics, so I do not think it would be a problem to recommend this book to adolescents in the Dutch school system. Lastly, this book would be absolutely perfect for any Sex Ed class because it does not shy away from topics like: sex, the Pill, teen pregnancy, adoption and abortion. It needs to be pointed out that the novel is dated with its nonchalant view of STDs.
Bibliography
Appleyard, J.A. (1991). Becoming a Reader. Cambridge. Cambridge University Press.
Blume, J. (2014). Forever [Kindle Edition]. Macmillan Children’s Books (Originally published 1974)
Borawski, E. L., Ievers-Landis, C. E., Lovegreen, L. D., & Trapl, E. S. (2003). Parental monitoring, negotiated unsupervised time, and parental trust: the role of perceived parenting practices in adolescent health risk behaviors. Journal of Adolescent Health, 33(2), 60-70
Dawson, J. (2015, September 6). Judy Blume’s Forever: the first and last word on teen sex?. Retrieved 28 March 2019 from https://www.theguardian.com/childrens-books-site/2015/sep/06/judy-blume-forever-teen-sex-james-dawson
de Melker, S. (2015, May 27). The case for starting sex education in kindergarten. Retrieved 28 March 2019 from https://www.pbs.org/newshour/health/spring-fever
Edwards, S. ed. (2014). Creating a literary Environment for Young Adolescents [PDF document]. Retrieved 28 March 2019 from https://hubl.hu.nl/archive/file/23535
Erikson, E.H. (1970). Reflections on the dissent of contemporary youth. International Journal of Psychoanalysis.
Parker v. Hurley. (2008).
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